Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i barfeds in our rink
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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