they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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