Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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