Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
