You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
