He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
