is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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