I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
