she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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