i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
