i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
