my vag is so smooth its legendary
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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