new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We are all done wearing pants today
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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