Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Too much gin, very little bucket
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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