Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
