Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
