I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
