There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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