Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize