What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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