I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize