my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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