This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
