is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize