I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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