last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
