I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
