You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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