So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
