first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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