nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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