i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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