i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
