You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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