What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
