True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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