Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
