so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
false alarm. still invincible.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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