Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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