I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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