Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
