So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
