How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
