Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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