People with herpes should wear stickers.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
