We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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