just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
