people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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