I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
