Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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