listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
