She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
