I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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