One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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