Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
