I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
