Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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