They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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