i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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