No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
