i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm jealous of your bromance
he puts the penis in happiness.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
