Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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