I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
