There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
