at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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