I seem to have left my pride at pride
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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